The Missing Pages
by littlelife
Summary: The years we missed. Amy growing up without the doctor. He will be in it soon though. Just not how you might expect
1. Looking Back

Okay. Well first off, hello! If you're reading this (i hope) you're about to read my first ever fic. :)

This is Amy's life without the doctor. The years she spent without him after he had left her when she was seven. I don't think many people realise just how long she spent without him. Twelve years is a long time when you actually think about it. How alone she must have felt. Poor little Amy. :'(

I'm not going to bore you much longer with my ramblings. Hope you enjoy this. And reviews would be extremely valued since this is my first ever fic. :)

x

**Disclaimer**

**Amy: Alright kid. This is where it gets complicated.**

**Me: Why? **

**Amy: Because you own nothing. **

**

* * *

**

"I would imagine a world.. A world beyond me. Beyond you. Beyond all of us. A world that I cannot even begin to comprehend. Just the thought... It frightens me to death. It's even got to the point where I am happiest when I'm asleep. Because there, nobody can tell me I'm wrong. Tell me he doesn't exist. Tell me it's all in my head. When I know, I know that it was real. The world inside that box.. If only he'd came back.. If only I h-"

"Amy." She looked up from her lap. Where she had been wringing a piece of paper with her hands.

"You're doing it again. You're-"

"Talking as if no one else is here. I know." She rolled here eyes as she said this, but it went unnoticed by the psychiatrist who was scribbling notes down on his clipboard.

"Look." She said as she successfully tossed the piece of mangled paper into a waste paper bin. "I haven't been here to see you in almost a year. Why call me back now?" She tucked a strand of her long red hair behind her ear, leaned back in her chair, crossed her legs and fixed him with a questioning stare.

"We wanted to check your... progress."

"And?"

"Well..." The psychiatrist gave a heavy sigh and began flipping through the notes on his clipboard. Then - much to Amy's annoyance - he began to write additional notes on previous pages. "It appeared you were making progress." He said with scratch of his head. "But now... Now you've began to slip, again." Amy rolled her eyes again. But this time it didn't go unnoticed. "Amy." He said patronisingly "You were a child. What's to say... that it wasn't all a dream? A very vivid dream. And all of this was the creation of a lonely gir-"

"Shut up! Just shut up! You don't know anything! You sit there with your clipboard and your stupid pen, thinking you're jack the lad! But did you ever think that maybe, it's true? If you would lighten up and stop being so bloody narrow minded! Consider the possibilities of "what if" Amy's chest was heaving. He statement was more to herself, everybody who ever doubted her. Not just this psychiatrist. She continued, closing her eyes, in a calmer tone. "Because then, maybe life wouldn't be so boring. So black and white. I know what happened when I was seven years old. I know that a man came, a man named the doctor. And he promised to fix the crack in my wall. And he promised...he promised.." She could feel small tears welling in the corner of her eye. It always hurt to think about it. To think about _him._

_"Five minutes. Give me five minutes. I'll be right back." _

_"People always say that."_

_"Am I people? Do I even look like people? Trust me. I'm the doctor."_

The words that he had whispered to her all those years ago. The... Empty words. Her raggedy doctor. He had bent down to her level. Something, that she had never known a grown up to do. And he spoke to her as though she was the most important person in the whole world. Her. Amelia Jessica Pond. The little Scot stuck in England. He made her feel safe and wanted. A feeling that she had never felt before. She still remembers his face, and his ridiculous hair, the smell of his breath on her cold, rosy face as he spoke to her. And those eyes. Oh those eyes. Even then, at her young age she could see the wisdom and knowledge. And something else. She never realised it then but thinking back the only emotion she can link to that look was... loss. It was very subtle but it was definitely there. She could never forget. She would never let herself forget that wonderful, small adventure she had when she was seven. She had longed for excitement, just.. Something, all of her life. And there he was. A madman with a box. Full of fun and playfulness. But also protection, and a friend to the lonely girl. He promised to fix the crack in her wall. She remembered fondly how he had taken a glass and chucked the contents over his shoulder casually as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. How he had pointed that odd metal tool of his at the crack. The wonderful green light.

_Wibbly wobbly timey wimey. Do you know what the crack is? _

His face ecstatic. As he clicked the metal object back together. Amy never realised it at the time just how... Alien he was. She still isn't even sure what he was. ..._Is _

"_I've gotta get back in there! The engines are phasing! It's gonna burn!"  
"But it's just a box, how can a box have engines?"_

"_It's not a box! It's a time machine."  
"What? A real one? You've got a real time machine?"_

She was just in complete awe at him. Her saviour. Her dark, handsome hero..

"He isn't real, Amy." She came crashing back to reality. His words tore at her. Ripping parts of her away. In the back of her mind there was a voice. A small voice. A voice of reason, perhaps. Although she refused to believe that possibility, it was still there. Eating away at her very being. Because if he wasn't real, then what was? Her hero, the angel she had prayed for. Her doctor. She leapt from her seat at this point. The psychiatrist did the same, expecting her to lash out. She simply stared at him. If there was ever a look that could kill, this was it. Then suddenly she turned on her heel and headed for the door.

"Amy I think you should-" she spun around, to find him close behind her.

"I've put up with this for long enough." She said, poking him threateningly in the chest. "I'm finished." She held his stare for a moment, then turned once again, reaching the door this time, she opened it violently and slammed it behind her as she went. Leaving him staring in shock at the door the fiery red head had just left.

She darted quickly from the clinic, eyes streaming, heart racing and temper raging. Her flowing red hair whipped around her. She didn't even try to calm it. As she made her way through the little village of Ledworth some people stopped to ask her if she was all right. She ignored them pushing past them and continued walking, she knew exactly where she was going. The place she always went to think when she was upset or she just needed... Away. -Her old house.

It looked just the same as it had the day she had left it for good when she was sixteen. She had just needed to get out. She was sick of it. Sick of the memories and the pain but most of all, sick of her aunt. Her aunt who was persistent on getting her tested by more psychiatrists, more doctors. When all she wanted was _her _doctor. She stood there, staring at the house that she had once lived in. She never referred to it as her home. Because it wasn't. To Amy a home was a place where you felt safe and wanted. She never felt these things when living with her aunt. As she stared at the old house, taking in all the familiar things, she saw the scene when she had left being replayed before her eyes.

A younger, but still just as fiery haired and apparently just as short tempered, sixteen year old Amy. Trailing a suitcase down the steps of the house, whacking it of each step with every one it threatening to burst open. Clothes and sheets caught in the lip, trailing the ground. Under her arm she had even more objects in a cardboard box which had been painted the bluest blue and had the words "Police Box" scrawled on it. It even had little windows drawn on with crayons. In two of the front windows were two people. A smiling man and a little red head girl in the other. But the most important thing, the thing she was clinging onto by her fingertips was a small rag doll. It was clothed in a light blue shirt, blue trousers and a blue tie pinned around it's shoulders. The doll was carefully made. Although small holes had been deliberately cut in the material of the dolls clothes and what looked like black soot had been smeared in random places. Floppy brown hair which was made from brown knitting wool rested on the dolls head which had been sewn on with great care. She stormed down the pathway a black bin liner in her other hand which contained her duvet and pillow. A middle aged woman wearing a skirt, and a tight top that barely covered her chest, threw open the screen door that Amy had just slammed and began screaming from the porch. However, making no attempt to follow her niece. She didn't share Amy's crimson hair but had bleach blonde, which had been carelessly died and was black at the roots.

"I swear to you now Amelia Pond! If you go past that gate you are never allowed back in this house again! Do you hear me!" She screamed, as Amy gave no sign that she was going to come back or that she was even listening. "This is your last warning! I mean it!" Amy stopped just as she got to the gate and turned to face her aunt who was red in the face and breathing heavily. She took a step back so that her heels were right up against the threshold of the gate. "You wouldn't dare!" She screamed. Amy smirked and jumped back so that she passed the gate.

"You should never, ever give me a dare. Because I will most definitely do it!" She yelled at her aunt, who was now coming down the steps and hurling some of Amy's belongings that she had dropped at the smirking teenager. She threw something different over the fence with every word.

"I NEVER. EVER. WANT TO SEE. YOU. DARKENING MY DOORWAY. EVER. AGAIN!" Amy began to pick up some of the things that her aunt had used as missiles and thrust them into the bin liner.

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO LIVE? EH? YOU DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT, DID YOU? WHEN YOU CAME UP WITH THIS INGENIOUS PLAN!"

"For your information, I know exactly where I am going to live! Not that it's any of your bloody business, mind!" Shrieked an already furious Amy.

Her aunt began to laugh uncontrollably and pointed at Amy. Her tone no longer screaming, but menacing.

"But who would ever take you in? Crazy Amelia Pond. With her magical doctor as her only friend. Amy's smirk disappeared. She had hit a chord. "Is that where you're going? To find your doctor?" Amy just stared at her. This woman, the woman who was meant to be her family but who was tearing her apart. Amy glanced away. She had got it. In one go. Her aunt laughed again when she did not reply. And realised she had hit gold. "Oh Amy, really? I used to think you just wanted attention. But you really believe it, don't you?"

"Shut up. Just shut up.."

"You really believe he's going to come and take you away. Your precious doctor, who's going to save you from being alone. It doesn't work that way, sweetie." Angry tears were already running down Amy's face. Her aunt had won. Yet she continued. "He's not real." she said. "Grow up." she hissed. With that she turned back to the house. Leaving Amy standing at the gate, tears streaming down her face completely broken. All alone. The lost girl.


	2. Appeared, Like A Vision

**Wow, got reviews on my first chapter! I'd just like to say, thank you very much. It really does means a lot. **

**Okay. Just so you don't get confused this fic is continuing exactly where the last left off. Amy's just left home at sixteen. This is what's it's going to be like pretty much all the way through this series. ie. Amy's past. The bit with the psychiatrist (Amy's present, but before the 11th hour) was just an opening to start it off. **

**Enjoy! **

_**Disclaimer:**_

_**Boy: Are you my mummy?**_

_**Me: No. I'm sorry. I own nothing.**_

She wasn't exactly sure how long she stood there. Staring at the house which aunt had disappeared back into. It wasn't until she felt something wet tickle her nose that she moved from the position the woman had left her in. She swiped at her face, assuming it was more tears. But when it happened again, and started happening faster and simultaneously she looked up and realised that it was raining. Cursing, she began to trail her stuff away from the house. Kicking stones and dust up as she went. She made her way on to a lane way, turned right and continued to walk slowly up it. Although, to be honest it was more like one of Leadworth's main roads than a lane way.

After a couple of minutes she began to shiver as the wind began to pick up. And even though it was only a light rain, she could tell she would soon be soaked through. Amy stopped at the side of the road and began rummaging in the bin liner for her coat, when suddenly her stomach sank. She had left it at home.

"UGHH!" She screamed in frustration, threw down the bag, sat on the overturned suitcase and put her head in her hands.

Now Amy Pond was very smart. Not exactly book smart, but she was very clever. She noticed things. Things that others missed. And she noticed as she sat with her head in her hands, that she had the feeling that somebody was watching her. The hairs on the back of her neck began to prick up one by one. The girl sat still for a moment to see if she could hear anything.

_...Silence._

Apart from the occasional car driving in the distance and raised voices coming from the house across from her. There was silence. She was just about to pass it off as nothing when

"SNAP" she leapt up and spun around expecting to find somebody there, standing in the trees that ran along this side of the road. Instead there was nobody. Amy found this very peculiar because she was certain that the noise had come from right behind her. There should have been someone there. A squirrel or cat from one of the houses across the road, maybe. But more peculiar than this, and this was very peculiar indeed. Actually, it was probably one of the strangest things Amy had seen in a very long time. A coat, hat and scarf were hanging on one of the lower branches on a smallish looking tree. _Her_ coat and hat.

"What?" Amy walked forward and touched the coat. It was definitely hers.

"But.." Amy looked around to see who could have possibly left them there. It wasn't her aunt, that's for sure. And the road was completely deserted.

"Hello?" She called into the trees. "Is there anybody there?" She stared into the silence then glanced at the coat.

She lifted the hat off first, and stuck it on her head, pulling it over her ears to warm them up. It was orange, with a large woolen bobble on top that clashed ridiculously with her hair. She slipped the coat on quickly and did the buttons up with quite some difficultly as her hands were freezing cold. Finally she wrapped the scarf around her neck multiple times, even at this it was so long that it reached her waist. The scarf however, was not hers. It was very old, multicoloured and had the most wonderful smell. She stood for a good couple of minutes just smelling it. It smelt almost...

Familiar..

She proceeded to shove her hands in her pockets and stared into the trees, waiting for a noise or a movement that would give away the person who had helped her out. After about a minute the girl shrugged her shoulders turned away from the trees and began to assemble her belongings. This didn't mean she wasn't curious after whoever had done this for her. This just meant that she was becoming increasingly cold and if the person did not want to show themselves, then so be it.

She had put the cardboard box into the plastic bin liner, in fear of it getting wet so this time everything was a little easier to carry. She checked her watch and nodded. It read quarter to five. "They should be home by now." She muttered. As she finally picked up her suitcase. Amy took one last glance into the trees then began to walk down the road, belongings in hand. And after a while, disappeared around a bend.

"If she loses that scarf, I'll never forgive her! I love that scarf. Maybe I should start... No. Bow tie. I wear a bow tie now. Bow ties are cool." A man appeared literally centimeters away from where Amy had been sitting. Whipping something from around his neck as he did so.

"Blughh." He said, holding up what appeared to be a key on a string and stared at it. "You're all wrong! Rushed job, but still! You're making me feel rather sick, actually. I should have just bought one! I've made normal ones. But ones that make you vanish completely.. Perception filters. Useless!" He exclaimed as he pulled out a little metal device and pointed it at the key. It extended, a green light shone from it and it made a very odd noise. His tongue stuck out as he worked.

"Come on. Yes. And. Bingo!" He popped the device back in the pocket of his tweed jacket, put the key back around his neck and vanished once more. After a moment appearing slightly to the left than where he stood before. "Aha! See. There we go! All better. Right. Okay. So." He stuffed the key into his pocket and began pacing madly on the spot, randomly waving his arms. "Amy's left home. Where would she go? Who can she trust? Her only.. Ahhh!" He began miming a nose in front of his face and clicking his fingers. "Not the good looking one, the other one. With the... Nose. The nurse... Cory. Rory!" He said hitting himself suddenly. He spun on the spot and began to walk onto the road when he stopped at the sight of an old lady pulling a trolly. She was standing staring at him. Her mouth slightly open. The odd man closed the space between them instantly with a few strides from his long legs. "Hello! I'm The Doctor!" He said sticking out his hand. The lady just stared. When she didn't take it he ran it nervously through his floppy brown hair. "We're er, doing an inspection in this area."

"An inspection?" She finally muttered looking extremely confused.

"Yes. About the... trees." He said glancing behind him.

"...The trees?"

"They've been.. Disappearing." He whispered with a tap of his nose."

"But.. You just disappeared! There now!" She said her voice coming out in a high pitched squeak. She sounded like she did not even believe what she was saying herself.

"Did I?" Said The Doctor with a mad grin. "Well fancy that." The lady looked completely baffled. The Doctor peered over the lady's head, down the road that Amy had walked down. He then looked back at the lady, "Tell me, do you know any Rory's around these...parts." He said glancing around. "I-yes. But... What does that have to do wit-."

"No need to be alarmed" he said with a slight wave of his arms. "It's part of my, investigation." When she didn't looked convinced he flashed a black wallet which contained a piece of blank paper at her. "I have reason to believe he could be behind... The disappearances." He finished lamely. She jumped slightly as though she had been electrocuted.

"Oh! Why didn't you say so, detective!" She squeaked. "He lives right down that road." She said. Gesturing down the road Amy had went down. "It's a dead end, number 12. You can't miss it, dear." The doctor grinned madly, shaking the woman's hand with such force that he nearly lifted her off her feet.

"Thanks very much Mrs..?"

"Tomson, sir."

"Mrs. Tomson." He said fondly, suddenly grabbing her and kissing her forehead quickly. "You're a gem." And at that he whisked around and began to make his way swiftly down the road. He pulled out the sonic and the key. "Now to bring the TARDIS. I'll land it near Rory's house. And oh!" He pointed the sonic at the key again. "And don't leave the breaks on. I can't have Amy hearing you land. That's all I need..." He put the key in his breast pocket and patted it lightly. "Thanks dear." "You're wasting your time though!" Mrs. Tomson called after him. "You'll not find a nicer boy anywhere!" The doctor stopped and turned to face the lady. "...Although. That friend of his. Amelia. Amelia Pond. You might want to take her in for questioning!" The doctor froze and his jaw tightened.

"And why would that be?"

"Well. She's a little...off. Goes on about a magical man called 'The Doctor' drives her aunt beside herself. The poor woman. She's trouble if I ev-" She stopped in mid sentence. Her eyes widened and she stared open mouthed at the doctor. "You. But. You're..." She glanced at the trees and back to the road in front of her. But he was already gone. "It's you."

**Oooh! So. What time has The Doctor came from and what is he up to? I couldn't resist Baker's scarf. I just couldn't! :)**

**Writing The Doctor was absolutely terrifying! He's just such a great character and you have to choose the words very carefully. I don't think I did a very good job, but I tried my best. I really enjoyed writing all his little quirks. I was nearly squeeing at every one. **

**And, yes. In case you haven't already guessed, I think Matt Smith is adorable and a wonderful Doctor! It's very fun writing him. :)**

**Remember kids. Read and review! **

**x**


	3. LETTER TO READERS

Dear lovely readers,

I have some extremely very not good news. So I had written out most of the remaining chapters for "The missing pages" Now, this is where the extremely very not good bit comes in. I had them stored in a lovely folder all ready to upload for you amazing people to read. So today I went to put them on and, gone. All of them. The folder and all. I searched my computer and nothing. It's like they never existed! :(

I have came to a conclusion. So either, a) Somebody in my family deleted them by accident or b) they fell through a crack in time. I am going to go with b) because then, you know 11 (or 10. I'm not fussy) is going to have to and get them back . Then I'm going to have lock him in my basement.. Oh, I'm getting off the subject. As I was saying. Once I found that all the files were gone, I didn't have the heart to write them all out again. I may, sometime in the near future but just not now. I needed to start on something fresh which you will be pleased to know I am working on now, a completely new story. This one shall be a lot more action packed and I am really excited about it. We are going to come across an old enemy, a newer one, nothing, and a Russian duchess. :D

I am really very sorry and I thank all of you who were reading the story and who reviewed. I guess sometimes these things just happen.

Yours, LittleLife

x


End file.
